Five people facing a tall building, with 'Wizarding Times Jan 2021' in the bottom right corner

My Jedi Journal

By Prof. Tarma Amelia Black

Catch up on previous installments of My Jedi Journal!
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20.

Dear Diary,

So now you get the story of Fred the Hottie. He's Alanna's cousin (as you already know) and for a while I just sort of tried hard not to give him any attention. I had places to be and things to do! But I kept meeting him, even more after Dad and Alanna married, because he'd be at their gatherings, as would I, as well as other place, which you'll see in a bit. (Oh, speaking of Alanna, someone who read my Journals as I started them and then as they continued asked why the spelling changed from Alana to Alanna in one of my entries. Easy — I'd just never seen her name written out until then. I think it was something and Dad wrote her a note or something and I looked at it and ... ooops. And just started spelling it correctly. Anyway, back to the story!)

I was playing Quidditch with the Holyhead Harpies and was thinking of doing something else. Fred had been playing Quidditch with another team (of course), and unbeknownst to me had been talking with Dad about what he (Dad) did, the actual day-by-day stuff of being a Magizoologist. Fred had already gotten his education and it could go in almost any direction — and Dad had decided to sponsor him as his apprentice. So about the time I was deciding to be a Magizoologist and study for it and qualify, he was already being one! Oddly enough, we'd never talked about that, when we went out on dates and stuff. It was almost as if there was a 'charm' we had put on ourselves, me not to jinx my getting my qualifications and him not to jinx me screwing up his working with Dad if 'we' didn't work out. That lasted about a whole two months and then the kneazle was out of the bag as we both showed up at a gathering and someone was asking Fred how his apprenticeship with Dad was coming along. Fred sort of looked at me, all red-faced and I was 'oh' and sort of pissed off because he/they didn't tell me! (Turns out that Dad didn't say anything because he figured that I already knew and didn't have something to add to the conversation.) Long story short — I got over it, Fred realized he loves me, I already knew I loved him and that evening he proposed marriage to which I said 'yes'. (Turns out that he'd talked with Dad about THAT too, a few weeks earlier, and Dad never said a word to me!)

So we got married before 'we' were sent out on assignment to study Nundus by my hero, Newt Scamander (who came to the wedding — him and Tina!)

So now I want to write about the wedding because it was awesome. Backing up, one of the things Fred and I did while dating was go to Muggle movies. There's this movie which is so perfect, an old Muggle movie called The Princess Bride. We watched it again and again; we knew the dialogue, we knew the action, we knew the story! And when he proposed, I grinned and said "I want a Princess Bride wedding" and he started laughing so hard he was wheezing which is not a great thing to do when you are at a gathering of a bunch of people who are witches and wizards and they are all trying to figure out what is the matter with you with all kinds of charms and hexes. After Fred got rid of the cat hair (which sprouted on his face, courtesy of Alanna) and the webbed fingers (courtesy of me but hey, it was fun), and was no longer wheezing, he explained to all and sundry that we were getting married as soon as I passed my Magizoologist exams (which would be pretty soon) and that we would have a themed wedding.

Fast forward — it's our wedding day! We let everyone know it was a themed wedding and people came dressed up (or down) as their favorite character. It's amazing how many people there were, walking around saying "Mawage. Mawage is what bwings us togever today. Mawage that bwessed awangement, that dweam within a dweam." and joining with others to have a chorus of it. Other quotes often heard were "Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die," "Inconceivable!" (followed immediately by) "You keep using that word. I don't think it means what you think it means." We heard "Have fun storming the castle!" and, of course, "As you wish." We even had impromptu scenes played for us — the swordfight, the rhyming games of Inigo and Fezzik, and so many more. I think the one that brought everyone to tears of laughter, though, was the infamous dialogue between Count Rugen and Humperdinck:

Rugen: Are you coming down into the Pit? Westley's got his strength back. I am starting him on The Machine tonight.
Humperdinck: Tyrone, you know how much I love watching you work. But, I've got my country's five hundredth anniversary to plan, my wedding to arrange, my wife to murder and Guilder to frame for it. I'm swamped.
Rugen: Get some rest. If you haven't got your health, you haven't got anything.

It got to where the competition was fierce between those who wanted to get the most laughs from the crowd with that final set of quotes. The winners, much to my surprise and delight, were my dad as Count Rugen and Newt Scamander as Humperdinck. After that, we (Fred and I) had our marriage ceremony which we had changed to where our 'clergyman' simply said "Mawage?" and I said "Farmboy?!" and Fred said "As you wish." That was it! It was wonderful. We all returned then to the themed party (and a lot of people stayed overnight in hastily set up tents in the field).

Here is how some of the people dressed up. Some went to the full extent of changing their personal appearances, to appear exactly as the characters! (Note: I wanted so much to wear the t-shirt but decided in favour of the dress worn by Buttercup. I looked okay in it; nothing like she did, but that's okay! Fred liked it.)

Graphic shows characters from the book and movie Princess Bride. From upper left corner are: Prince Humperdinck and Count Rugen, The Clergyman (saying 'Mawwiage'), Farmboy and Buttercup, Valerie and Miracle Max (saying 'Have fun storming the castle'), The Grandfather (saying 'As you wish.'), Inigo Montoya, Vizzini, and Fezzik. In the center is picture of a black t-shirt bearing picture of Inigo holding sword en garde and words 'Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.'

Click here for the full-sized image.