Your WORST Nightmare - Introducing Dumb and Dumber(ererer)
by Kelsey Willow and Wylie Weasley
Your challenge, should you choose to accept it is to figure out which is which.
After our recent sell-out stand-up tour, we have decided to return to the humble halls of HOL. Here, we will use our artistic, sarcastic and downright FANTASTIC personalities to make your sides ache and to lighten your, ever darkening, spirits. As you will remember from the unforgettable experience of our last article, where Dumber(ererer) interviewed Kelsey (aka DUMB), we pride ourselves on our outstanding sense of humour. This year, however, we have decided to join forces and inflict a horribly sarcastic torture on poor unsuspecting HOL students and professors alike. This month's article will serve as our introductory speech, our time to dazzle you with our wit and charm which, by the way, is second to none. Our civilised conversation may descend into a rabble from time to time - don't worry; this is COMPLETELY normal and you will come to expect nothing less from your two darling reporters.
Wylie - What does second to none mean?
Kelsey - *bangs head on the table* I've told you before... DON'T ASK STUPID QUESTIONS. You KNOW what happens when you ask stupid questions. *experiments with her knee reflex yet AGAIN*
W - Was that a stupid question, I thought it was valid...
K - *deadpan* Don't MAKE me kick you.
K - At this point, Wylie decided to cower beneath the nearest table. So masculine, don't you think?
W - At THIS point, Kelsey threw the table at me, killing the poor woodlouse crawling along at the other side of the room. So feminine, don't you think?
W - I thought we agreed that you'd go to anger management classes.. I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE, WOMAN!
K - Don't you WOMAN me, you MAN. And I *did* attend those classes, but I was angrier than the instructor, so they threw me out. Oops?
W - Well.. I'll be your anger management councellor!
K - Patronise me and you'll wish that you HAD interviewed that talking toilet. *sweet smile*
See what we mean? Our conversation often takes these, rather vicious, turns. (Note from Wylie - ALL Kelsey). (Note from Kelsey - Only because he asks stupid questions and talks about talking toilets all of the time). (Note from Wylie - As your anger management councellor, I demand you to BREATHE and I want you to get over the talking toilet thing by the time we meet for the next article. Spend time with the talking toilet, he's lovely, just don't flush him!)
K - DON'T flush? Okay, I'll be sure to pull the chain.
At this point, Kelsey could not bear to look at Wylie for even a second longer. Wylie sat alone, thinking to himself, was this really a good idea?
Although we get sick of each others presence very quickly; we're sure that it'll all work out in the end. We might even like each other by the end of it. Stranger things have happened, after all. Be sure to come back next month for the next installment of the Kelsey and Wylie Show, (YES, my name WILL be first because I'm typing and you're not). (Note from Wylie - Psssshaw.)