Fact Versus Myth: The HOL Truth

By Zoki Phantom

Recently many HOLers, especially those who wander the chat rooms, have been spreading rumors and gossip about Hufflepuff students, spawned from the doubts Rowling left us when she didn't provide enough information about the house so that things like this would be clearer. However, our mythbuster team gave their best and managed to get to the bottom to all of these "questions" regarding the members of our noble house. So here we present you the truth behind all of this nonsense!

We are particularly good finders: Fact

This is, in my opinion, more of a confusing rather than a funny comment. One would first have to define what they mean by "finders," as it's not really a trait people can possess. But given that we excel at scavenger hunts, Seeking, and finding our way underground as a general rule, you can make the assumption that badgers are in fact, particularly good finders. And now you all get a five-minute break to stop the laughter coming from your A Very Potter Musical memories.

We are afraid of ghosts: Undefined

What?! It is a common thing, after all, and not all of those ghosts are friendly! Some are creepy, spooky, scary, or in other words, just not something you'd be happy to have wandering around. And some of us are scared, while others are actually fascinated, so it definitely depends on the badger you're asking; otherwise, if I spoke for myself, I'd say this is a myth as well.

We are afraid from sheets with holes (and regular sheets): Myth

As most of us know, our Headmaster finds this hilarious, though he believes we really are afraid. Well, you may even throw in some black-colored sheets to make them look like Dementors, but they really wouldn't scare us. We may look nice, but we're tough! It can't really get more scary than living in dark underground tunnels (or setts, if you would), some of which date from the ancient times.

We have our names sewn all over our clothes: Depends

We are very happy to have Prof. Felicia Hartwick in our house, as she is our Fashion Diva and deals with all things related to fashion. The truth is, if the newest trends require us to have our names sewn all over our clothes, this would probably be a fact, but in the meanwhile, it's still a myth.

We can't see birds: Myth

There's no real discussion needed on this one, really. It's probably just the Headmaster spreading this around as he would profit from us not seeing Ravenclaw; he doesn't want us to take the House Cup back to the Sett whenever they get a hold of it. Well, sad truth, we have no issues seeing eagles.

We're incapable of finding the Room of Requirements: Myth

How do you think Rorey Padfoot and I make the top three points earners in the whole school each year? We just head there and we wish for a room where we can have lots of fun, but we also ask for it to contain already-done homework assignments. Thus we spend our days in joy while we still get a pile of points.

We can't open jars by ourselves without failing: Myth, thank Merlin!

Nonsense! All our food for the winter is stored in jars; we would have died starving if we couldn't open them (or well, we all would be severely hurt from the failures). And we'd like to note than any harm our Quidditch players have suffered has definitely not resulted from opening jars!

We are procrastinators: Partial Myth

Many of us end up doing some of our work last-minute, yes, that's a well-known fact. However, the reason for this isn't always procrastination, but simply being busy with other duties to which we have given more priority. And we request that Prof. Cassandra Lobiesk understands that it's only logical that we give priority to our newspaper before hers.

We break stuff: Accidental Fact

I would be the one who usually gets blamed for things falling apart, but in all honesty, whatever bad thing happens is always unintentional. Which means I don't deny everything I've done (though I don't cherish the blame and confirm I've done it all, too), but badgers as a whole are nice and would never do anything for a bad reason!

We have the best furniture of all the houses: Fact

According to Urban Dictionary, at least. We can't really compare to the other Common Rooms as each house can access only theirs, but we definitely love and enjoy our furniture, so just to annoy you we're going to say it's a fact!

We come back to life as a sparkly vampire: Moronic Myth

This happened only once, just one single time, and it was a very unfortunate accident. It wasn't our fault, and there wasn't much we can do, though if you ask me, Mr. Potter is to be blamed for not saving poor Cedric Diggory. So yes, we don't come back as anything living or dead, though just as regular magic folk, we come back as ghosts (if we choose to do so). I would be more than happy to be the one doing the disposal of that sparkly vampire, just so we make sure he doesn't come back as anything else. (Editor's Note: Prof. Anya has contact info for a certain vampire slayer that would be more than happy to put an "End" to any sparkly vampire. Just saying.)

We have ownership over Prof. Cassandra Lobiesk: Fact

Heck yeah! She has proven it in multiple situations, and although she may have fooled the Sorting Hat, her sister was sorted into Hufflepuff, and Cassie herself has shown affection toward Hufflepuff as well. If you don't believe me, I have provided you with some evidence from the magical Great Hall called IRC:
<@Haruhi> I AM A HUFFLEPUFF.

And there you have it! If you have any doubts left regarding the house that you'd like to be cleared, send a PM to Zoki Phantom.