Evil Cornish Pixie

By Gabrielle Cadeaux

Cornish pixies are evil
and I'll tell you why.

They pull on my clothes
and set me on fire,
then they sit me up
and use a blowdryer.

They take my homework
and toss it into the pool
and when I jump to retrieve it,
there go my projects, too.

They poke out the lenses
of my favorite Annie Oakleys
and make snowmen by cutting
my sweater from Foley's.

They put glue on my door knobs
and then, when I'm stuck,
they give me a haircut.
A cute one? No such luck.

They hide all my pencils
and steal all my socks;
then, once I'm screaming,
replace them with rocks.

They set the house on fire,
they shower without turning on the fan,
they steal all my cookies,
and eat straight out of the can.

Once I call the repairman,
they start all over again.
Did I forget to mention
why Cornish Pixies are such a pain?