Undercover in Muggledom

By Prof. Tarma Amelia Black

I'm Tarma, and I live in a Muggle community. Sometimes I think about how great it would be to live in a purely witch community, but there are things here that one cannot get in solely witch communities, too — like DVDs and easy access to the internet and all kinds of pizza shops. Why am I here, though? Because obviously those are not enough reasons to make a witch want to live in a Muggle community ^_^

The reason I'm here is because this place is a nexus of energies, and certain magical creatures are continually drawn here to experience the energy flow. It's sort of like they can thrive on it, and wallow in it, and even get sort of 'high' on it. So my task (a few other witches and I) is to be alert to the comings of these creatures and make sure they go again. If need be, we return them to where they came from with a boomerang spell. (We try not to do that very often, though, because even Muggles might notice knarls flying through the air on what appears to be a platter of air.)

But that is not what this column is about. No, I was asked to write about the need to blend into the community and what happens when that doesn't always go as planned.

For example, I needed to get to town quickly. I found out a Muggle DVD had just come out. The store had it in, but they had only one copy left! I asked them to hold it aside for me, but no luck. They said, "First come, first served," which does make sense, I guess, but what if someone got there before I did and bought Iron Man 3? So I quickly put on some Muggle clothes, some jeans and a t-shirt, my Ugg boots (yes, I love them even if they are not the prettiest things in the world), then grabbed my cloak and off I went! There is a wonderful place in town, in the circle of trees in a park, where hardly anyone ever goes. Since it was raining, of course no one would be there, right?

I apparated to my circle of trees and found out that not only were there Muggles present, but that there were many Muggles there. Evidently someone was getting married, and so there were lots of cameras and people in fancy clothes, along with a small band and tables with food on it (all under a large tent).

Fortunately, I retained some semblance of wit and performed a smoke-casting charm immediately, producing a thick, aromatic fog of smoke around me. Ideally the Muggles would (hopefully) forget I appeared before the smoke appeared and think it was a 'magic' trick!

Then I swept my cloak around myself, walked over to the bride and groom and said, "This is compliments of Leeds Downtown, for the pleasure of your August occasion!" and I walked away. They seemed a little stunned, but I was out of sight before anyone gathered their wits together enough to follow me.

I quickly dashed around the corner and into a coffee shop, but some members of the wedding party came running to see where I was. Luckily, I had already taken off my cloak and was sitting down at a table, looking at the menu.

Since I was there, I ended up getting a breve to go. Finally, I went to the store, bought my Iron Man 3 DVD and apparated home again.