Parker!

Parker: "Row, row, row your boat, gently hear them scream...." Ah, the sweet sound of delight. There are a lot of angry or glum looking people about lately; I can't understand it. The Hufflepuffs are obviously delighted with their new water feature, although I admit that I wasn't expecting so many screams of delight as they noticed that the corridors were under several feet of water, magically kept in place. Those *were* screams of delight, I'm sure of it....

Olivia: "PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRKEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRR!!"

P: I really must give that silly Professor Olivia some lessons on how to pronounce my name. She always says it far too loudly, and she holds the vowels for too long; it's almost as if she's shouting. "Yes, Professor Olivoil?"

O: "I thought I'd made myself perfectly clear that you were not to cause any more trouble?"

P: I certainly don't recall anything of the sort. "I'm just floating about here minding my own business, Professor."

O: "Yes, and thanks to you, so are half of the students. Literally, in the case of Dom, who was last seen on the back of an out-of-control giant rubber ducky."

P: "Well, he was going to be late for lessons, so I just gave him a little...push."

O: "And speaking of Dom, he spent all that time setting up the Games Tent, only for you to come along and take out all the pegs."

P: "Ah, that was a misunderstanding. I heard him telling some students that they should get down to the Games Tent. I thought he said they should get the Games Tent down, so I went to lend a hand. I was only trying to help." Sometimes my brilliance impresses even me.

O: "And letting out all those chickens in the HuffleStaff Room? I suppose you were only trying to help there as well?"

P: "That was Talya, actually; I saw her."

O: "Talya was trying to catch them all again, after you tried to get her into trouble; I know you sent her there in the first place."

P: I'm going to have to be more careful; this one must have eyes in the back of her head.

O: "And of course, you just couldn't resist the old treacle-in-the-hair trick could you? Cosmo's still wandering around looking like she's had an electric shock."

P: "I'd say it looks more like she's seen a ghost." Or not seen one, more like, if she'd seen me; I'd never have managed to do it.

O: "Don't try being smart with me, young ma- poltergeist. Don't you think there's something you should say to her?"

P: "I suppose you're right. Cosmo, thank you for the lovely LiveJournal icon; I've chosen it along with two by Mopsy." *flies off before Professor Olivia realises her shoelaces are tied together*

O: "PARKER!! I meant 'sorry!' Grrr, one day that poltergeist is going to get his comeuppance...."