An Interview With Parker
By Amanda Lupin

Recently I sat down with Parker, our resident poltergeist here in Hufflepuff. Parker and I have been friends for a long time. I truly believe him to just be misunderstood; I'm hoping this interview will clear up any misconceptions of this lovely poltergeist.

Amanda: Welcome Parker dear, I'm so glad you consented to this interview.

Parker: No problem.

Amanda: So let's jump right into it...How did you end up in Hufflepuff??

Parker: I was floating around the Halls of HOL looking for a new home. Some ungrateful professors kicked me out of their classroom because I was causing too much trouble. Then I spied some students in black and yellow robes walking off with big plates full of food, and I just knew I would be able to cause so much trouble wherever they were taking it - they led me here, to Hufflepuff.

Amanda: So then are you happy with your choice to follow the Hufflepuffs? Have they made this a good home for you?

Parker: Oh yes, the Hufflepuffs are very unsuspecting. Right after I followed those students into the common room I crashed into them and the food went flying all over the place. Then I started blowing raspberries and bouncing on the heads of the students who were trying to study. It was great fun and well, for some reason they let me stay. I especially enjoy the newbies best- they never know what to make of me- in fact I see some now that I feel the need to torment!! Be right back!

wwwwwwwwwhhhhhhhhheeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!

**starts throwing water balloons at a group of first years heading out of the common room**

Amanda: Now many may say that you're a trouble maker, but to set the record straight, what are your goals in life?

Parker: To wreak havoc among the silly students, until they build me a room.

Amanda: As you know the holidays are fast approaching, do you have any plans?

Parker: Now that would be telling wouldn't it? I wouldn't go near the teacher's quarters if I were you because nothing is going to happen there.

Amanda: What is your favorite part of the holidays?

Parker: My favorite part of the holidays is when the Huffies go home to see their families...it leaves me with lots of time and freedom to cause as much havoc as I can in the dorms and common room...and then they come back, and I can enjoy the chaos!

Amanda: Now, like everyone else, I'm sure you make a Christmas list, what's on it?

Parker: What would I want for Christmas... well I could use some more walking sticks... not that I use them for walking, but when I throw them, the icky students don't throw them back at me so I lose a lot of my supply. Then of course I can use some more buckets for dumping water on them too and some good parchment to make spitballs with, then I would need straws to go with that too, and new chalk so I can write rude things on the chalk boards again, those Professor keep hiding the chalk on me

Amanda: Before we go, one last question...Who is your favorite person here at HOL?

Parker: YOU, of course! You've always loved me and understood my harmless heart. And you always give me a bed to sleep under. My defender.

*the interviewer blushes*

Amanda: That's so kind of you. Thank you for your time.

Parker: It was a joy, but now I must go throw some pies at those Gryffs.