Weird Wizarding Dilemmas
*Disclaimer* The Agony
Witch takes no responsibility for any harm done to one's person
or property caused by inappropriate use of the advice contained
below.i.e., be sensible! - Ceit Uiseag, Wizarding Times Agony
Witch.
My boyfriend lives 2000 miles away. What do I do? Name
and house supplied.
Well, first off, I would advise keeping in touch with
him! Obvious, you might think, but a thing oft neglected. Send
frequent electronic owls and snail-owls, and consider installing
a program on your computer that will enable you to have
conversations if the phone bills would be too big using voice
calls. Keep a picture of your beloved at hand. Share your
day-to-day happenings with each other, even if it's just what you
had for dinner, or the chaos the kneazle caused in the garden
with your gnomes. Little things help you grow closer. Distance
does not mean doom for a relationship, you just have to work at
it.
How do you turn your nose hair into ringlets? From
Shanell Louis of Hufflepuff.
A simple charm is all that is required, dear
Shanell...but a word of warning! Incorrectly applied, this charm
may cause an upsetting and irreversible growth of twigs from your
nostrils, and these will eventually be colonised with
bowtruckles.so be careful! Okay, take your wand, carefully point
it at the offending straight nostril hair, and using a 'flick-and
swish'.NOT 'swish-and-flick' movement, cast the charm 'folliculus
nasalis spiralis'. This charm should be said quietly, to avoid
the aforementioned twig infestation. Happy beautifying, I'm sure
your new look will suit you well!
Does Dom really wear pink tights? Or are they plain old
skin-coloured ones? From Dolly Bulge of Hufflepuff.
After some research, in the absence of the great man
himself, your correspondent has it on good authority that Dom has
a pair of pink leather pants in his quidditch locker.but I don't
know about the tights!
Every time I try to cast the 'lumos' charm, a green light
shines out of my mouth for a while.could this be a sign that I am
doing the spell wrong? From Phoenix Fire of Gryffindor.
I think your problem, Phoenix, is due to the way you
verbally cast the charm.over-pronunciation of the 'lum' part of
the 'lumos' spell causes magic to be applied to the nearest
lumen, or space, to your wand. The light becomes green because
the second part of the spell then becomes 'mos'.or 'moss', which
is.green! In most cases, this lumen is your mouth.Revise your
pronunciation and concentrate on the spell, and you should find
yourself improving beyond recognition.
I have no trouble with Dementors like Harry did, but I
want to learn to do a proper patronous so I'll be able to defend
myself. I have produced 3 perfect patronuses. My patronus is a
jaguar. But sometimes when I do it, it's about to drive off the
dementor, but then it shatters, and disappears. What am I doing
wrong? From Alex Chang of Gryffindor.
Alex, all that is needed is practice.maybe when the
patronus breaks up, you are feeling nervous, anxious about
producing the spell? Do as Harry did, concentrate hard on that
happy feeling, as it is important to know that you can produce
your patronus when you need to defend yourself.
I can do almost any charm...except the one where you make
the pineapple dance across the table. When ever I do it the
pineapple turns purple, glows green, says moo, splits in half,
joins back together, does a front flip and turns into a chicken.
Why would this be? From Hestia Tonks of Hufflepuff.
I would advise that you check your wand for signs of
chizpurfle infestation, dear.those annoying little pests have
been known to damage the magical core of a wand so that it cannot
perform spells correctly, the results being often amusing, as in
your case, but sometimes dangerous. If you can find no signs of
chizpurfles, check the pineapple you are using.is it in actual
fact a pineapple? It may be a transfigured and very confused farm
animal, which would explain the mooing and turning into a
chicken. I will be happy to provide further assistance if
necessary.
I've been going out with a Muggle for the past 3 years
now and he has just recently asked me to marry him! I really do
love him, but the problem is this - My parent's are strict one's
and they do not know that I have a boyfriend, so telling them
that I do and that we're planning to get married could shock
them, also telling them that he's a Muggle could really make them
disown me! What shall I do? Please help! From Hermione Wood of
Hufflepuff.
This is a sticky situation indeed.you must think about
the consequences of your actions, but firstly, if you are of an
age where you can marry, your parents should be able to accept
your actions and choices, no matter how strict they are. It is
your life, dear, but be careful. You must decide whether you can
cope with the arguments and upsets that may break out upon your
announcement, and whether you can possibly reconcile your
parents. Try to get them used to his presence before you announce
your engagement, try to get them to like him before you tell your
parents his blood type.do they even need to know his blood type?
As we all know, it is not what a person is born, but who they
choose to become, that matters. Good luck.
What happened to the old Hogsmeade that used to exist
before the one we have now? I once saw a place called
"Kevin's Kritters" or something like that but I haven't
seen is since the new Hogsmeade. So where did it go? Where did it
all go? From Becky Walker of Hufflepuff.
Well, Becky, there is only one Hogsmeade, it's just that
the 'old' Hogsmeade was in need of redevelopment, some landscape
architecture and suchlike. So it was all knocked over (preserving
the buildings of historical significance and beauty, of course)
and built up again with shiny new shops and houses.
When I was de-gnoming my garden yesterday afternoon, one
of them bit my arm, and it's starting to grow purple lumps all
over it. The gnome got away, and I'm somewhat scared. What should
I do? From Edgar Evert of Ravenclaw.
Gnomes are not generally known for their cleanliness,
and this includes tooth-brushing. I suspect that your arm has
been infected with some kind of magical bug, and I would
recommend a prompt visit to the hospital wing or St Mungos. Delay
in this matter could cause the infection to spread, with
unpleasant consequences. Right now, you should bathe your arm in
a cleansing potion containing bundimun secretion diluted in water
(one part bundimun secretion to fifty parts water, the stuff is
dangerous in concentrated form), and wrap the arm in a bandage.
My father turned my mother into a pig before he ran away.
My feelings are so confused. Should I learn to love this pig
mother? How do I get my father back home? How can I change my
mother back? From Morpheus Androlicus of Hufflepuff.
Your mother is still your mother, no matter what form
she is in, so yes, you can and should still love her. I suspect,
though, that she may not be too amused about being a pig, and she
will probably appreciate being restored to her usual form.
However, it is best to have a trained healer do this
transformation, as many things can go wrong. As for your father,
well, I don't want to pry, but there must have been something
going on between your parents to cause this kind of a situation.
See if you can contact your father, and try to persuade your
parents to talk. Tell them how you feel, and that you want your
father to come back. Hopefully they will be able to resolve their
argument, but if they do not, do not feel guilty, the matter is
between them, and is not your fault.
How come my Mandrake can suddenly walk and why is it
eating all the squirrels in my garden? What's the best way to
catch it? ('cause chasing it, throwing a quaffle at it, cursing
it or trying to beat it k.o. with my broom doesn't work.) From
Professor Valerian Mandragora of Ravenclaw.
Oooh, Professor, you have a mutant mandrake! Somehow
your mandrake's DNA has been invaded by some DNA from a clabbert.
This is why it has taken to walking about and going up trees to
eat squirrels. I am not surprised that your efforts to catch it
have been unsuccessful, as this hybrid mandrake will be extremely
agile. I would recommend using a squirrel as bait, on a long
branch up a tree, and levitating a very thick, tough net above
the branch. When the mandrake/clabbert goes along the branch to
get the squirrel, charm the net to wrap tightly around creature
and branch, trapping it and sparing the poor squirrel. Then,
contact the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical
Creatures, who will be able to deal with the mandrake in a
suitable manner.
How do you get your friends to understand the love and
fandomness you have for Harry Potter and Hogwarts world? Via PM.
Name and house supplied.
This is a hard one.I suffer with this myself.hmmm. In my
experience, the best thing to do is to try and find something
that your friends are nuts about that you are not, and use it as
a comparison. For instance.people who follow Star Trek and are
interested are trekkers, those who know Klingon operas are
trekkies. Those who don't like HP are muggles, those who are kind
of into it are Potters, and people like us are Potties. This is
nothing to be ashamed of or embarrassed about, it's part of who
we are! Eventually, your muggle friends will see that if they
can't beat us, they have to join us, muahahahaha! Be proud of
your Potterholism, and in time your friends will understand
Ceit Uiseag